What Moms Would Admit if They Were Honest

There’s a misconception flitting around the motherhood community.

Hide your flaws, be perfect, act like it you can do it all; lest another judge and scorn you from her high horse.

Well, the perfection expectation ends here.

I, for one, am a lover of reality.

I embrace every aspect of motherhood, including those moments where life is messy, my kids look disheveled , and I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with potty training!

It’s my desire that as women we could lay down the illusion of perfection, the one that says we have this whole thing figured out, and just be real with each other.

In my mind, that honesty and vulnerability allows for growth on behalf of mothers everywhere.

Those moms who do have their act together can lovingly shepherd and share their expertise, helping and encouraging the mom who struggles.

More importantly, we could learn to laugh at ourselves a little more, embrace the messiness of motherhood, and just be ourselves.

Because if we’re honest, really honest, there are things we’ve all done just to keep our head above the waters of motherhood, and to keep our mom sanity.

There are situations in which we’ve let high standards go and things we’ve done just because life was hectic.

There are secrets tucked away in our mommy hearts that we would never openly share with others for fear of seeming like a “bad mom”.

Until now.

moms would admit

 

Upon my recent poll of mothers, I laughed in agreement, knowing I too, am guilty of some, if not all of these secret mother survival tips.

So if the boxing gloves of motherhood were off, here’s a few things we may admit.  Can you relate?

1. I’ve given my kids candy to keep them quiet and to bribe them.

2. I’ve let them eat something off the floor, even in public.

3. There are days when the kids watch too much T.V. so I can get things done.

4. Some days the kids defeat me and the score seems to be kids-20, mom-0.

5. When’s the last time they had a bath?  I can’t remember…

What would YOU confess if you were honest, mama?  These results from a recent "mom poll" will have you laughing in agreement and helps you come to terms with the messiness of motherhood.

 

 

6. At the end of some days, my house looks as though a bomb’s blown up, and I leave it that way until the morning.

7. Don’t look too closely at my kid’s socks, they may be mismatched.

8. Motherhood can be lonely.

9. There are days I will let them do pretty much anything to keep them quiet.

10. Motherhood is hard. It’s a beautiful, wonderful, gift, but still, it’s hard.

 

Hang in there, mama!

Together let’s learn to not sweat the small stuff, be real with our fellow moms, and laugh at those messy moments.

And on those days where the kids seem to have gotten the best of us, let’s remember that no family is perfect and no mom really has it all together.

We’re all just doing the best we can and by sharing our reality with each other, we build a community that supports instead of tears down.  And that’s a community I would be honored to be a part of!

What’s something you’ve done as a mom you rarely admit?  

Can you relate to any of the mom moments from the poll I conducted?

About Sarah Ann

Sarah Ann is a perfectly imperfect wife and mother, and is thankful for the saving grace of the Lord. When she’s not busy folding yet another load of laundry or comforting a crying child, she enjoys studying God’s Word, writing, and spending time with authentic friends. She's passionate about equipping women to honor God in family, health, and home at Proverbs31Mentor.com. Join her for biblical encouragement and practical lifestyle tips to help you live on mission for the glory of God.

74 Comments

  • comment-avatar
    Jennie @ Little Girl Designs February 26, 2015 (8:09 am)

    Such great points! I was nodding my head, ‘yes’ the whole time I read it. 🙂 I’m so glad that I came across your blog through the Christian Women Blogs on fb this morning. 🙂 I agree that motherhood can be lonely and also agree that I/we need to laugh more rather than taking everything so seriously. Just love this post–thanks so much for sharing!
    Jennie @ Little Girl Designs recently posted…Numbers Printable – New in the Etsy Shop!My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:28 pm)

      Thank you for the encouragement, Jennie! I so appreciate it. It’s always a blessing to meet another kindred mom spirit and sister in Christ. 🙂

  • comment-avatar
    Starla J February 26, 2015 (8:50 am)

    Great post my friend! Oh so true for me on every single one of these!
    Starla J recently posted…10 Ways to Save Money.My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:27 pm)

      Thanks for your honesty, Starla! It’s SO refreshing!

  • comment-avatar
    Clare Speer February 26, 2015 (9:28 am)

    Love it – and love the visuals!
    Clare Speer recently posted…Things That Make Me CrazyMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:27 pm)

      Gotta love my kids in their finest moments! Ha!

  • comment-avatar
    Laura@shortandsweetmoments.com February 26, 2015 (9:59 am)

    I can definitely relate to the part about not remembering when they had a bath…guess that means today is bath day!
    Laura@shortandsweetmoments.com recently posted…What I’m Into – February EditionMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:27 pm)

      Ha! That was us last night! It’s winter so we’re allowed a few days off, right?!

  • comment-avatar
    Leah Courtney February 26, 2015 (12:10 pm)

    I love this! And they are all so true. 🙂
    Leah Courtney recently posted…Read Aloud Wednesdays: Book Talk for The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George SpeareMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:26 pm)

      Glad to know I’m not the only one, Leah!

  • comment-avatar
    Maria Hass February 26, 2015 (3:22 pm)

    I have handed them my phone or my pad to entertain them while I get something done. I’ve also let them play video games on a screen so I could take a nap… Horrible, I know! 😉
    Maria Hass recently posted…The Value of StewardshipMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (3:26 pm)

      Oh, Maria! You are not alone! And let me tell you, if I didn’t think the house would come crashing down around me, I would definitely find a way to squeeze in a nap!

  • comment-avatar
    Angela Gilmore February 26, 2015 (4:01 pm)

    Yes to all of this. My kid had a sticker on his face for almost two weeks. TWO WEEKS! Because I just couldn’t handle his shaking and sobbing every time I tried to get my hands on it. My kids socks rarely match, when they do it gets noticed more than when they don’t. I hate to admit it but, bathing is not as regular as it should be. I have a happy kid and I’m a happy momma. Sometimes the ‘stuff’ just has to wait!
    Angela Gilmore recently posted…Basic HTML for Bloggers – How to Add Spacing After List ItemsMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:42 pm)

      I just love that comment about the sticker! It makes me smile because I would be the same way. I try to maintain peace and calm where I can, and sometimes I vote for sanity over battling a child.

  • comment-avatar
    Kerry February 26, 2015 (4:26 pm)

    Can most definitely relate. I’ll add that I’ve let my daughter eat mac n’ cheese more often than not, because on some nights I just can’t handle the fight.
    Kerry recently posted…Managing Your Kids’ After-School Activities as a Working ParentMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:41 pm)

      Oh yes! Some nights it’s more about a full tummy than what actually went in. We’re the same way at our house!

  • comment-avatar
    Kristen February 26, 2015 (5:19 pm)

    Love the honesty of your article! I am always embarrassed how dirty my kids white socks are because I never mop often enough and give them a bath every second night and always forget which night I did it, so I can definitely relate.
    Kristen recently posted…Free Printable St. Patrick’s Day CardsMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:40 pm)

      I hear you Kristen on the dirty socks! I refuse to mop my floors more than once a week, at best, and those floors get NASTY! We are the same about every other night baths. 🙂

  • comment-avatar
    Laura Prater February 26, 2015 (7:02 pm)

    This is a great post! I kept saying YES YES YES! You are so not alone. 🙂

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:39 pm)

      Thanks, Laura! It’s so comforting to know that being so honest can be a blessing to others and refreshing to know you’re not alone!

  • comment-avatar
    Keri February 26, 2015 (8:41 pm)

    #3, 5, & 6 were especially true for me this week, with illness this past weekend and way too many snow days! And the bomb that went off? Yeah I waited three days to clean it up. But I did play a glorious hand of UNO with them, embarked on a treasure hunt they set up for me, watched Big Hero 6 the first time together, played in the snow a bit, and made a cardboard “robber” target to throw coasters at. Really NOTHING I can count as productive (the same 3 baskets of clean laundry and full suitcase from my trip last week still remain as is in my room) but I really had a great week and enjoyed my kids much more than I normally allow myself margin for!!!!

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:38 pm)

      Sickness is the worst! It seems like it takes nothing at all to get me out of routine and then all bets are off. You are right that quality time really is more important than everything else. I’m trying to remember that more!

  • comment-avatar
    Erin | It All Matters Mom February 26, 2015 (9:03 pm)

    Looks like a normal mom to me! We stay in our pjs all day sometimes. And I haven’t felt good lately so we’ve watched lots of TV. And sometimes we skip baths because, well, we’re lazy. Fist bump.
    Erin | It All Matters Mom recently posted…The joys and challenges of having two kidsMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 26, 2015 (9:37 pm)

      Oh, Erin! We really are kindred spirits! Love the honesty and my favorite part, about you not wanting to give a bath because of laziness just made me laugh out loud! I needed that tonight!

  • comment-avatar
    Brandi Clevinger February 27, 2015 (12:45 pm)

    I’ve done all those things, but I’m not afraid to admit it. This is who I am and how God made me. I listen to His guidance, so I’m not ashamed.

    I’m not saying I don’t think they are funny though! Just last night when I was ‘fighting’ wiht my three year old in CostCo, I started laughing so hard because I imagined how I must look to the other people around me. I have to find humor in the situations I find myself with kids!
    Brandi Clevinger recently posted…Sensory overload and FibromyalgiaMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 28, 2015 (7:30 am)

      Good for you for being honest! I LOVE and embrace honesty, because once we can be free to be vulnerable, we are free from the stress that comes with perfection.

  • comment-avatar
    Quirky Homemaker February 27, 2015 (6:15 pm)

    I’ve always been honest about my failings as a mother. I remember before I had kids thinking that all the mothers knew everything and had everything together. And then I became a mom and met other moms and realized we’re all just learning everything as we’re going through it. I have had moments when I’ve cried in church because I felt so bad about the week I’d had with my kids–all the yelling–which I swore I’d never do–before I had kids. I find it’s extremely important to find a good mom support group. I was lucky to have that when my kids were young. Stopping by from Friendship Friday! 🙂
    Quirky Homemaker recently posted…7 Wardrobe Essentials for Stay at Home MomsMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 28, 2015 (7:28 am)

      I am the same way! Sometimes on Sundays, it’s as though once the music starts, it’s cue the tears. I love the idea of a mom support group! Thanks for weighing in!

  • comment-avatar
    Dawn February 27, 2015 (10:11 pm)

    So funny and universally true…all the moms said, Amem! 🙂
    So I couldn’t think of anything when you asked om FB but a mom sanity moment happens here (still evem though I don’t have littles anymore), when I turn up the music and we dance and act cRaZy!! This craziness happens when I feel myslef standing too close to the edge. 😉

    Great post!
    Bless,
    Dawn
    Dawn recently posted…Relentless GraceMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 28, 2015 (7:26 am)

      Great idea, Dawn! We do the same thing around here and love to see my littles dance. I think regardless of the child age, moms need to figure out a way to balance and juggle in those crazy mom moments. Love the idea of the dance party!

  • comment-avatar
    KC February 28, 2015 (12:42 am)

    Ha! Oh, yes to so many of these! I once took my 3 year old daughter to daycare in a cute little skirt, only to find out when we got there that she decided not to wear her panties that day! Yes, I let her dress herself and didn’t think I needed to double check the situation. My job was none to thrilled with the call about why I was going to be late that day. Ugh!
    KC recently posted…All You Have To Do Is AskMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 28, 2015 (7:22 am)

      Oh no! LOL!!!! I have to admit that cracks me up! I am so bad about letting my kids dress themselves so bravo to you mom! Maybe do a pantie check before school! Ha!

  • comment-avatar
    Suzie@homemaker-mom February 28, 2015 (1:26 pm)

    I am guilty of some of that too lol well more so when they were younger but still lol. This post caught my eye on #Sitsblogging Link up!
    Suzie@homemaker-mom recently posted…One Sweater 4 Crafts Series Craft 2 The PillowMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann February 28, 2015 (10:21 pm)

      Thanks for stopping by via SITS! I can see how once the kids get older some of this goes by the way side.

  • comment-avatar
    Heather @ My Overflowing Cup March 1, 2015 (7:37 pm)

    I wear mismatched socks on purpose because I think it’s fun!

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I wrote a post once called Grace, Not Perfection because that should be our goal, right? Grace, grace, and just a little more grace.

    We just do the best we can, love our kiddos, and let God fill in for our lack. Thanks for sharing your precious family with us.

    By the way, baths are for Saturday night or Sunday mornings just before church, right? 🙂
    Heather @ My Overflowing Cup recently posted…The GiftMy Profile

  • comment-avatar
    Jackie March 1, 2015 (10:17 pm)

    Do true and honest!! Hugs!

  • comment-avatar
    Sarah @ The Life of This Mother March 2, 2015 (2:03 am)

    I love this and agree with you wholeheartedly. I hope this post is seen by all types of mothers who are encouraged to blog of being real. I struggle so much with the idea of perfection. I’m always open to other mothers but I want to be perfect. It’s a hard internal dichotomy.

    Oh, by the way, MY name is Sarah-Anne too! I have never met someone with my name before! That is super cool 🙂

    Coming from Mommy Moments x
    Sarah @ The Life of This Mother recently posted…wanting to be what i am not.My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 4, 2015 (10:34 am)

      Hello, name twin! Gotta love having a unique name! I agree that often times we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. It’s so hard!

  • comment-avatar
    Sarah March 2, 2015 (8:38 am)

    I cannot tell you how much I needed this today. Some days I honestly feel like I’m drowning. My husband works full time, goes to school full time, leaving 100% of the house/lawn/children in my care. At least until he’s finished with his degree. My daughter plays in the cat food and with the cat water (she’s 15 months). My son watches way too much Netflix. I need about 4 cups of coffee to make it through the day. Thank you for the smile. I really needed it.
    Sarah recently posted…February/March Goals UpdateMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 2, 2015 (10:36 am)

      Sarah,
      Your story really could be my own! My husband graduated with another degree in August and worked full time while going to school! My daughter, who is almost 5, but has ASD, gets into EVERYTHING and requires constant supervision! I hear ya, friend! Hang in there. Many prayers and encouragement coming your way!

  • comment-avatar
    Clare Speer March 2, 2015 (10:18 am)

    I love this!!!! My kids are grown – but most mothers DON’T FORGET these “magical” moments!!!! I applaud your candor – for sure!!!! Blessings 🙂 🙂
    Clare Speer recently posted…How Could This Happen To Me? (Part I) – Miracle MondaysMy Profile

  • comment-avatar
    Life Breath Present March 2, 2015 (10:23 am)

    Agggh! I know I rarely admit that sometimes I really let Baby Boy make a huge mess all over the house, so I can do other things. I also love on him to no end and wish he’d stay in my lap instead of playing at times!

    Motherhood, such a joy and blessing, while also being stressful and time consuming 🙂
    Life Breath Present recently posted…Step Three: Know Your LoanMy Profile

  • comment-avatar
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files March 2, 2015 (1:54 pm)

    Motherhood: the hardest blessing you’ll ever get! Love this post, stopping by from Mommy Moments.
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…If You Elect Me in the 2015 BloggiesMy Profile

  • comment-avatar
    Shannon March 2, 2015 (2:13 pm)

    I am a Mom to three….a 5 year old son & boy/girl twins who are 3. This was a great post! It can be so easy to look at others & see how they “have it all together” but most likely they have the exact same feelings we do. I laughed when I saw what you wrote about the popcorn in the dogbowl. My kids always have some kind of snack food on the floor & in the cushions or last night how my twins both took their shoes off at a gym & were running around barefoot as I was secretly cringing inside but they were having fun! I have a few friends that no matter how many toys, unfolded clothes are on the couch, that I know it does not bother them.

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 4, 2015 (10:32 am)

      Oh I understand! We as moms have to turn a blind eye sometimes as to not make ourselves crazy!

  • comment-avatar
    Maria March 2, 2015 (6:25 pm)

    “…embrace the messiness of motherhood, and just be ourselves.” I love this sentiment you mention and it’s so true. Perfection is an on-going battle for motherhood, and I agree with you: it stops now. Motherhood is anything but perfect, so striving for it is unneccessary. Instead, we should do what you suggest: bask in the glory of its chaos, its mess, and just learn to love it one day at a time. Thanks for such an inspiring post 🙂

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 3, 2015 (11:39 am)

      I am so passionate about being transparent with our struggles and reality! It helps no one to hide behind smoke and mirrors!

  • comment-avatar
    April G March 3, 2015 (2:57 pm)

    I think honesty is necessary too. I think a lot of people suffer alone because of Facebook’s picture perfect view of their lives. I have found it so freeing to tell truthful toxic family relationships where people are actually getting some help.

    Stopping by from Mommy Monday Blog Hope. Have a great week.
    April G recently posted…A Trip to Ireland for You, $10,000 for a Noble Woman #SheisNobleMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 4, 2015 (10:29 am)

      Yes, April! If we could learn to be honest with each other, and share our weakness, there is strength in vulnerability!

  • comment-avatar
    Faith March 7, 2015 (11:10 pm)

    Love this post! Thank you for sharing at Mommy Moments last week! You were the top viewed link and will be featured in the link up tomorrow 🙂
    Faith recently posted…Mommy Moments #136My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 8, 2015 (11:29 am)

      Thank you, Faith! I am so flattered! God bless1

  • comment-avatar
    Rebecca@TheFamilyFInder.Net March 21, 2015 (9:50 am)

    I buy only colored socks because white socks will never be white again.

    My kids learned the hard way NEVER drink from a sippy cup that you find under the bed.

    We went to a meeting at my oldest son’s school in our PJs because we completely forgot until they called.

    An YES to everything on your list.
    Rebecca@TheFamilyFInder.Net recently posted…Simple Shopping Strategies that Saved Us $12,000 A Year – Check Your CalendarMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 21, 2015 (2:57 pm)

      I LOVE the idea of colored socks! Great reminder to toss my dingy white ones and I LOVE that you went to school in your PJs!!!! You and I would be great friends!

  • comment-avatar
    Lauren March 21, 2015 (12:00 pm)

    If all moms were truthful there would be no standards!

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann March 21, 2015 (2:51 pm)

      Yes! Fabulous point, Lauren!

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  • comment-avatar
    Jen April 6, 2015 (7:09 pm)

    Haha, yes! I’m sure I can admit to all of these and more. 🙂 I love that you are keepin’ it real here, Sarah Ann.
    Jen 🙂
    Jen recently posted…On Good Friday ~ Grace and Truth Week 12My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann April 7, 2015 (4:36 pm)

      Thank you, Jen! I am ALL about reality!!

  • comment-avatar
    Natasha May 6, 2015 (10:05 am)

    Confession I use pool time as an excuse to not give a bath.
    Natasha recently posted…Playful Preschool: PondsMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann May 7, 2015 (8:40 pm)

      Hahaha! I LOVE it and SO appreciate the honesty! I can so relate!

  • comment-avatar
    Jessica Lynn May 6, 2015 (10:21 am)

    This is so true! I love it.

  • comment-avatar
    Bethany May 6, 2015 (1:45 pm)

    Loved this post! My kids LOVE playdoh…big mess but worth it! Cracked me up reading this!
    Bethany recently posted…Best Mommy EverMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann May 7, 2015 (6:26 am)

      We know all about the playdoh mess at our house! Sometimes it’s whatever works, right?

  • comment-avatar
    Michell May 6, 2015 (2:57 pm)

    Hahahaa Sarah Ann! This is too funny! I so remember those days! Our kids are now 25, 23 and 19. As a pastor’s wife, I tried my best to hold myself to a standard. Back then as a young mother, I wanted so bad to make sure my family was -well, at least looked- perfect. HA, what a joke! I soon found out THAT was more work than raising kids, lol! After my epiphany, I soon realized that I should just go with the flow and do what’s best for us, even if everyone saw all the flaws! Well, as it turns out…all three turned out just fine(actually great) and they all work with my husband and me full time in ministry! And to answer your question…I use to strap our youngest down in his car seat in front of the t.v., so I could actually get something done! Btw…dropping by from Christian Women Bloggers Unite!
    Michell recently posted…Mastering YOU Monday…the power of encouragement!My Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann May 7, 2015 (6:25 am)

      I LOVE that they all turned out well and even more about your creative use for a car seat. Sometimes it truly is about survival!

  • comment-avatar
    Kim August 24, 2015 (9:37 am)

    SO honest! SO true! Love this list and can totally relate to it. Sharing this with on my FB page. Blessings!
    Kim recently posted…DIY Custom Cushion Cover for Window SeatMy Profile

    • comment-avatar
      Sarah Ann September 4, 2015 (9:56 pm)

      Thank you for sharing! Most women can identify to a few of these!

  • comment-avatar
    Clare Speer August 24, 2015 (5:27 pm)

    Great post and love the pics! Yes raising kids is lots of messes… hopefully lots of laughs, and lots of fun too! You captured that!

  • comment-avatar
    Mary Hill May 6, 2016 (11:27 am)

    I really relate and I just have one now teen. I was a stepmom too but my stepkids are all grown up now. I have been there and done most of those things. Now, it is not so bad, but my daughter’s room is a mess and I am going to relax and get over it. 🙂

  • comment-avatar
    Mary Hill May 6, 2016 (11:29 am)

    PS feel free to link up with us at Literacy Musing Mondays too: http://maryanderingcreatively.com/literacy-musing-mondays-lets-talk-genres/
    I know my readers will relate. Link up this week and again when we go live Sunday at 6. 😉

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