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Hanging by the back door of my childhood home was the embroidered sign reading, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!” If a phrase could embody a mom that needs an attitude adjustment, this would be it!
Now as a mom myself, that saying makes me chuckle under my breath, knowing all too well how true it can be. However, there are some days, mom needs an attitude adjustment, too!
If I’m honest, I see this all too often in my own home. And I find it’s a delicate balance. As an “all or nothing” person, there’s either times of laughter and love or moments of tension and stress.
I’m assuming, maybe for my own sanity, that other moms experience the same highs and lows. After praying through my own heart, I’ve determined a single factor that makes or breaks the atmosphere of my home.
When we experience smooth sailing, it’s because I am patient and kind, even in the midst of tantrums and tears.
However, when things are out of control, it’s because mama bear roared a little too loud or showed frustration.
Surprisingly I noticed the same thing in my marriage. When things are going well, it’s often because I am gracious and understanding.
Then suddenly, I had a revelation about women’s attitudes in the family unit.
Women set the tone of the household.
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As the backbone of the family, moms often determine the mood and the extent of happiness in the environment with their attitude.
Ladies, that thought scares me a little. If I am honest, I will admit that the tone I set for my home is not always peaceful, joyful, and kind.
Sometimes the tone I set is harsh, critical, and hurried. There are some days (ok, seasons!) where I need an attitude adjustment from the Lord.
While I know that moms are not perfect and bad days will come, I want my family to say I radiate the love of Jesus on a regular basis.
But do I?
Together let’s honestly evaluate the atmosphere of our home by asking a few tough questions. I’ll even show you my answers so you feel better about yourself. 🙂
Essential questions to help you evaluate your mom heart
Your intentions: What type of tone do you really wish to set among your family and home?
My response: I want to set a happy, peaceful tone; that reflects the character of Jesus in most things I do.
Word choice: Does your choice of words build up or tear down? Do your intentions match your word choice?
My response: I try to reflect the patience of the Lord with my family through my word choice, but
sometimes often am easily frustrated and annoyed.
Tone of voice: Does the tone of your voice show love and patience; or frustration and annoyance?
My response: I’ve been corrected by Hubs countless times for my harsh, critical, or nagging tone of voice, even though I may not mean it. Often true feelings are shown through tone, not words.
Actions: Do your actions reflect how important your family is to you or do you busy yourself with other tasks, forgetting to make them a priority?
My response: Ouch! This hurts! I can be the busy mom, more focused on tasks and responsibilities than carving out time for the members of my family. However, I am praying for balance and learning to be a better about time management.
Friend, if you felt convicted by this examination, you’re not alone.
When praying through the current state of your heart, don’t forget that you can press pause on the chaos and pivot at any moment!
Hope for when mama needs an attitude adjustment
Words and actions do not have to reflect feelings
When we’re frustrated and annoyed, we have a CHOICE to act on those feelings, or pray that God will help us use self-control.
He has given you the ability in His name to turn away from anger, frustration, a short temper, exhaustion, and towards His peace.
When you choose to be strong in His name rather than show irritation, it will become a habit over time and you’ll experience God’s peace in a fresh way.
Studying the Fruits of the Spirit has helped me break free from messy emotions and examine our own family and household.
Through implementing simple ways to live the Fruit of the Spirit, I’ve learned (with God’s help!), that it IS possible to break free from messy emotions!
God didn’t leave us stuck in the muck and mire of our sin! Instead, through Jesus, He provided hope, redemption, and loads of grace to help us thrive in our relationships.
But it’s up to us to take tangible and practical steps towards freedom. I discovered that without a resource to make this journey simple, I would simply remain stuck in this vicious cycle.
Instead, in order to experience lasting change, one needs a strategy for exploring, understanding, and praying the Scriptures.
The Fruit of the Spirit Bible Study Kit will help you (just as it did me!):
- Conquer messy emotions with a specific prayer strategy & biblical truths.
- Harness God’s strength to shine His love to those you love most.
- Implement biblical strategies for lasting change.
We need to be well fed spiritually, emotionally, and physically
Ladies, when we neglect ourselves, and run on empty, we can only go so far before we break down.
Water your soul with consistent time of prayer, Bible study, exercise, friendship, and health, to remain strong for your family.
I’m discovering that a Christ-satisfied mom breeds a satisfied family.
As a busy woman, I completely understand the struggle to make time for yourself when life is hectic.
However, the benefit of a mom who’s found her satisfaction in Christ and is healthy in these areas, far outweighs the inconvenience of time away from the family.
When you feel depleted, recharge your batteries and make adjustments
Did you know your family feels when you are stressed to the max and stretched too thin?
Those times when you are depleted, you change the tone of your home without knowing it.
You may show frustration more, lash out at your family because you’re exhausted, and bring a negative tone to your home.
But give yourself heaps of grace, reminding your imperfect self that you were not called to perfection, and a happy tone of home, is impossible all the time.
When that happens, it’s time to recharge and make a few adjustments.
Saturating your soul with God’s Word and finding hope in Him will strengthen you when the hard times come. If you find yourself on a slippery slope of emotions, trust that He gives you freedom from messy emotions!
Seek Him first and trust that He will supply you will strength and endurance for the journey ahead!
How was the evaluation of the tone of your home? What areas are your praying for change?