In almost fourteen years of marriage, Hubs and I have faced more challenges than some couples face in a lifetime.
A year and a half into our marriage, my new husband was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 27. That cancer came back less than a year later, and once again his life was on the line. After that, the storms of life did not stop.
In fact, we seem to be one of those couples where life is constantly throwing us a curve ball. Together we have faced cancer, infertility, adoption, job loss, financial troubles, death, Autism, going back to school, two careers changes, and several long job searches.
Through it all, our commitment to God and our marriage has never wavered. In fact, we’ve come out on the other side stronger and more deeply committed than ever before!
While we’re FAR from perfect, the lessons I’ve learned about supporting your husband has proven invaluable. Our journey hasn’t been easy, yet the blessings God has revealed have been worth the heartache.
How to Support Your Husband Through Anything
Show him that he matters
No matter what the circumstances, show him that he’s #1 in your life. Communicate that it’s HIM; not his job, not his situation, not his wealth, but HIM that matters to you.
When life is overwhelming and you’re struggling to find your way, remember that if everything else were gone tomorrow, your spouse is what truly matters.
Give him room to dream and be supportive
God has placed wild dreams in the hearts of His people. Sometimes those dreams are scary, risky, or just plain daunting, but wives, give your hubby room to pray and figure things out.
Sometimes that means trusting your man even when he doesn’t have all the answers or the road looks rocky.
Other times it’s letting him take a leap of faith, while you cheer him on in the wings, gulp, without nagging.
Discuss your expectations
How’s the communication in your marriage? Do you struggle to make known what you expect from your spouse and why this need is important to you? Me, too!
But when you are clear, calm and communicate your needs, your better half will actually KNOW what you are thinking! He won’t have to guess your thoughts and you don’t have to get irritated because he hasn’t read your mind.
Both parties will know exactly what the other needs and be able to respond appropriately.
Don’t harbor resentment
As women, we tend to bottle up our emotions until we have a laundry list of offenses against our spouse.
When you’re struggling with the situations life has thrown at you, don’t keep those emotions locked up. Then, before long, you start to harbor bitterness, anger, and resentment, and often, your spouse may be the punching bag!
Instead, whatever emotions you’re feeling, create a safe relationship to share your honest and true feelings. When you can let go of anger, you are free to move on and let God heal your heart.
Be respectful of his desire to keep his emotions to himself
Does your husband love sharing his emotions and long, heartfelt chats? Mine neither! I’ve learned to give him space when he needs to process life and not to hound him to talk.
While your man may never love opening up and talking about his feelings, he will share his heart more readily once he’s had a chance to process his emotions.
Pray for him and with him
A marriage is strengthened and unified by the power of prayer. When you pray for your spouse, you are laying him and his needs at the feet of Jesus. You are giving your precious husband back to God, and relinquishing control over your spouse and life.
There is nothing more freeing than to humbly pray for your spouse, and trust God’s will for the life of your family.
Friend, it’s beautiful to lay your burdens at the cross, and trust that God knows your troubles. He sees your woes, is with you in the trenches, yet has eternity in His sight.
So in those moments when you are afraid and you wonder what God has planned for your husband, stop and pray that God will help you support him, and minister to Him exactly where He is.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31: 10-12