To the Unsatisfied Wife

To the Unsatisfied Wife,

Valentine’s Day is a not so distant memory, as you browsed social media, finding picture after picture of grand gestures of love.

Roses, chocolates, date nights, all representative of couples in a love so deep, they had to proclaim it to the world.

Meanwhile, your day consisted more of average moments than of romance and candles. You ended the day discouraged and feeling unwanted.

If you're longing for more in your marriage, here's the reason why your husband can never satisfy the depths of your soul.

 

While I don’t have a glimpse into your home or know the in and outs of your marriage,  I do know you’re not alone.

The way you crave romance and attention from your husband is really a cry to be filled by God.

No matter how much your husband pursues you, he wasn’t made to satisfy the depths of your soul.

God designed and molded the woman heart. He made her tender and to crave love and intimacy. The Lord also showered women with the ability to nurture, to love passionately, to long for a grand love story, and to have a heart that’s completed by love.

Yet when sin entered the world, God allowed that precious woman heart to chase after her husband. However, God knew her tender heart could not be filled or satiated by man’s love alone. The Father knew that woman would desire her husband in a way that an earthly man would never satisfy. For this reason, her fairy-tale romance would go unrequited until the day she became the Bride of Christ.

“Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”  Genesis 3:16

So God’s not surprised in this modern age, where true love is passionate and romantic, that you feel neglected and forgotten by your husband.

He sees the frustration, the unshod tears brimming in your eyes, and invites you into a relationship that will never leave you hungry for love.

Ultimately, God’s love is not fickle, and will never forsake you.

His love will always passionately pursue you, and will satisfy even your deepest desires.

The Lord delights in you, and doesn’t see your flaws.

He knows your heart and your hurts, and is always ready to listen.

The Father’s love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, with a list of your annoying habits and sins you’ve committed.

His perfect, unending love, made the grandest gesture of all, a death that sealed your eternity the day you accepted His proposal of true love.

It’s the ultimate love; one where your longing heart finds true hope, true peace, and most of all, true satisfaction.

And He hasn’t left you here on earth without Him.

He’s coming back to whisk you, His Bride, away into the glorious eternity He’s prepared for you.

Now that’s the greatest love story ever told!

When you feel as though your husband is not meeting the needs of your heart and your spirit craves more, remember that he was never meant to satisfy you.

Your husband was never made to complete you or be the greatest love you’ve ever known. He was never designed to perfectly satisfy your passionate heart or be your grand prize.

No matter how much you feel disappointed, long for romance and to be pursued, remember that he’s human like you. He’s also full of flaws and issues of his own, just like you.

So go easy on the man who has your heart here on Earth.

Offer grace in his imperfection and the areas he falls short. Go out of your way for him, even in moments he doesn’t deserve it. Guard your heart and mind, knowing that bitterness can rot even the strongest of marriages.

Think before you speak and watch your tongue. Be alert and fully aware that nagging causes erosion and dissension in the home.

And for the wife who’s not just longing to ride off into the sunset, but for shelter from abuse, seek safety, help and counseling, believing that God’s perfect love can restore your heart.

You are not forgotten by Him!

Ladies, while you wait for your Bridegroom, don’t focus on how you deserve more in this temporary life, but have peace knowing one day your heart will be fully complete as you enter into the presence of the One True God.

Much love,

Sarah Ann

 

30 Comments

  1. Great post! We must give God all our unmet needs and expectations. We must go to Him to be truly fulfilled. I’ve been learning this myself lately.

    1. It’s amazing how we can quickly take our eyes off the Lord and put them on people instead. May we learn to let our focus be solely on Him alone!

  2. Thank you, Alicia! I agree that so many women struggle with this and think once they’ve found their husband, he will go on to complete them in every way. I can’t wait to check out your article! I’m so glad you brought it to my attention!

  3. After finding Christ and then being baptized, I was more at peace and more in love with my marriage. This was part of the reason. Finding love in God makes it easier to love those around us. Songs of worship singing of His love for us moves me to tears each time.

    Last year our pastor delivered a message about not placing expectations on others. It’s not fair to the one placing them or the one receiving them.

    Thanks for your beautiful message, Sarah Ann!

    1. Absolutely! It’s amazing how God fills that void that we so desperately try to fill with people and other things. Good for you for growing in Truth!

    1. Thanks, Clare! It’s so hard to fathom how much God loves us, but He does!

  4. This is a great reminder to give God our all in all. Sometimes it is really hard to imagine how much God truly does love us and fills the voids in our life and heart.

    1. It can be daunting to think about that full, perfect love, and I think in our humanity, we can only understand the tip of how much He loves us!

  5. “No matter how much your husband pursues you, he wasn’t made to satisfy the depths of your soul.”

    Love that reminder . . . thanks for a great post!

    1. Thank you, Cheri! I appreciate your encouragement. Many blessings!

  6. Such encouragement to not let our desire to be fulfilled and esteemed by our husbands take over. So important to be a healthy companion by trusting God do fulfill us. Sometimes that’s a challenge though!

    1. Oh it can be such a challenge! It’s amazing how quickly I take my eyes off Him and put them back on situations that are out of my control.

  7. I think, regardless of how great our spouse might or might not be, we ALL need this message. Thank you!

    1. Sarah, you’re so right! My husband is pretty wonderful, but even when things have been smooth sailing for awhile, he doesn’t complete me!

  8. Sarah Ann, thank you for putting in the comment/disclaimer about abused wives. So many people don’t see a difference between difficult marriages and destructive/dangerous ones, and expect the wife to be able to fix everything up by trying harder.

    I have written a lot about domestic violence and other forms of marriage abuse, and have a resource page linking a lot of my articles and other web sites. You can find it here: http://watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com/p/domestic-violence.html

    One of my articles – “The Bad Boy and the Angel” (http://watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-bad-boy-and-angel.html) – might be helpful to a mom who has been trying hard to make it work when it won’t.

    1. That sounds like a wonderful article! I think so many times as women we are told to do more or just be better, and then our man will _______ {fill in the blank}. But someone’s hurts and anger that leads to abuse, though, is NEVER our fault! Blessings to you for this special ministry!

  9. Thanks for this- Love this beautiful truth and it has helped out marriage so much- Thank you for reminding me of my value to God and that he is my perfect husband today!

    1. Isn’t amazing how your view of marriage changes because our souls our satisfied by the Lord instead of our hubbies? It’s beautiful!

  10. I love this, Sarah Ann: “No matter how much your husband pursues you, he wasn’t made to satisfy the depths of your soul.”

    Thank you for the reminder, my friend, to give grace to this man I love. : )

    1. I think it’s so hard to give grace sometimes, especially when we have unrealistic demands. Blessings to you on your journey!

  11. Thank you for this beautiful reminder, Sarah Ann. It is a challenge in this world, but we really do need to remember that our worth and value come from God, not from man. Beautiful words of wisdom. Blessings to you and yours!

    1. Thank you, Heather! It can be hard to do in the moment and I have failed miserably at times, but there is such peace in knowing we belong to the King.

  12. There is a “God shaped” hole in each of our hearts that only God can fill and satisfy.Thank you for reminding me that when I feel that “fit” isn’t quite right, it isn’t my husband’s fault. I need to move closer to the ONE who holds me close to His heart as the “apple of His eye”:)

    1. Yes, Tammy! Exactly right! May we learn to draw near to the one knit us together and knows our hearts!

  13. I really enjoyed reading this! It is so true. I have been with my spouse for 15 years and definitely know even in all his perfection, he will imperfectly love me as I need, as silly as that sounds. Thanks for sharing!

  14. Love this! It’s so true, it isn’t until a few years ago that I really understood this. It’s a big relationship changer because you no longer have the type of expectations that are totally unattainable. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Absolutely! I agree that it can change relationships once we understand and then adjust our expectations.

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