Husbands, don't miss this chance to see what your wife is REALLY thinking!

What Wives Wished Their Husbands Knew

It was the end of a long day.

Through toddler tantrums, potty training, and a bowl full of dinner thrown on the floor, and Hubs and I both had tempers that were shorter than usual.

Husbands, don't miss this chance to see what your wife is REALLY thinking!


We fumbled through bath time with feelings of irritability brewing, and had just managed to wrestle a streaking Bubs to the ground for pajamas before the tension finally came to a head.

I was tired to the core and not looking to argue, but before too long, words of frustration flowed freely from both of us.

After a few minutes of rapid fire with stinging words, we each retreated to a separate room to sulk in private and nurse our wounds.

Out came the confetti and the balloons as I threw a pity party for myself, wallowing in my thoughts over our heated argument as silent tears slipped down my face.

My female heart wondered how we were still clueless to the needs of the other person.

How, after years of marriage and countless trials, did we still manage to miss the mark on how to minister to each other’s hearts?

Yet we’re not alone.

In homes across the world, relationships like ours battle for common ground and understanding.

Couples often wonder how to meet the needs of a spouse so different from themselves.

Friends, it’s time to demystify what the other sex is thinking.

It’s time to learn the needs of our other half so we can meet them to the best of our ability.

I find that regardless of the situation, women are the same at the core and the cry of our hearts are similar in nature.

What women want is really simple, and I promise you, guys, we are NOT as complex as the world says!

What wives wished their husbands knew…

We long to be seen and heard

Men, we want you to really see us for who we are.  We need you to see our hearts, know us for who we are, and love us anyways.

You see us at our worst and most vulnerable, yet our woman hearts yearn for understanding and for you love us no matter how often we mess up.

We want you to see our hearts and know what makes us tick.

After several years of marriage, guys, your wife should no longer be a mystery!

We long to be appreciated and respected

Women work hard and our dedication to our families can be glossed over easily.

Men, we want to be respected and appreciated for the tireless way we work for our families and all that we do.

It doesn’t mean the appreciation has to be fancy or even elaborate, but just a small word of thanks after dinner or an “I recognize how hard you work” at a random time lets us know our hard work does not go unnoticed.

Women carry these thoughts in their heart and often they go unnoticed.  Men, here's what women REALLY wished you knew!

We long to matter and want to be needed

Husbands, when’s the last time you showed your wife she matters to you?

I’m not talking Nicholas Sparks flowers and candles, although that would be nice sometimes, but we as women need to know that we are on your radar, not as a responsibility, but as a choice.

We need to know that our thoughts, our needs, our love, our life, matters to you, not out of obligation, but because you still only have eyes for us.

Out of all of the women in the world, we need to know would still choose us again.

We want you to be present in our lives

Sometimes in our house Hubs and I can be like two ships passing in the night.

Sometimes because of the busyness of life, we can be more like roommates.

But that’s not what the woman heart desires.

Guys, us women want you to play an active part in our lives, and not just offer a friendly hello in passing.

We long to talk about life, even though it’s not your first instinct, men, and to share our hearts with you.

Those moments you retreat from us, or spend time on your phone disengaged, we feel disrespected, and that you wish you were anywhere but here with us.

We want you to lead us 

Yes, we want you to lead.

While we are in the age of the modern woman, we still want and are looking towards you to lead our family.

We need you to dig into God’s Word,  be a man of His character and hit your knees for our family.

God has commanded you to lead the family, and while sometimes it’s hard for us to sit back and let you take that responsibility, we want and need your leadership!

We are ready to support you in your leadership role, and are thrilled when we see you rise to the potential God gave you!

Men, there you have it.

This is what your wife wants and needs from you.

Although no two ladies are the same, there’s a good chance at least one of these is on her list of needs.

Talk to her, pray about how you can meet her needs, and allow God to move in your family.

And ladies, you’re not off the hook!

Next week we’ll learn about what your husband wished you knew. {I’m slightly afraid….!} 

Are these some of the needs you have as a wife?  

What other needs do you have and how do you relay them to your spouse?


  1. Amen!! 😀 So true, thank you for putting it so eloquently! <3

  2. I love this!!!! So many realistic yet true points! I have been married for several years – and I still deal often with many of the “issues” and challenges you present. Can’t wait for the follow up!

    1. I think that no matter how long you’ve been married, there’ always seem to be some obstacle!

  3. Yes, all of these are true, but I resonate with the last one the most. I don’t always want to be the strong one. I don’t always want to be the one with the answers. I want him to lead especially in spiritual matters such as going to church and guiding our family.

    Thank you, Sarah Ann, for shedding light on what we as moms and wives need from time to time.

    1. I couldn’t agree more! I am more than happy to let him lead, and it can be hard not to swoop in and take over. Or maybe that’s just me….

  4. So much wisdom in this post! If only we would communicate with our spouses, there would be so much less tension and confusion!

    1. Oh yes! I find when we don’t communicate like we should, the more we struggle to put the needs of each other first. I can tend to get into a trap of a poor me mentality as I see my needs not being met. 🙂

  5. Well said. I never thought of the type that would be reading self-help marriage books. However, our marriage went through drastic changes with school/job changes and two children.

    1. I think every marriage goes through an ebb and flow and are always changing. It’s important to remember to grow together instead of apart, which can be such a challenge. 🙂

  6. Yes, yes, and yes! I love that you added we want our husbands to lead. I pray for my husband in that area, for wisdom, strength and bravery in doing so! Thank you for a great post!

    1. Me too! I am always praying for him and that God will grow him in His wisdom!

    1. Thanks, Sybil! 🙂 I’m so glad it encouraged you in some way!

  7. Yes, I can identify with all of this! 🙂 Now I’m curious about the next post, too! I’m stopping by from the CWB facebook page tonight.
    Jen 🙂

    1. Oh, yes! Please do stop on by! I’m a little nervous as this will be my first guy guest post! But it should be educational!

  8. I relate so much with this. Reading it makes me think and analyze that I have needs as well as my husband. And that I need to communicate more often and clearly those needs to him. I have be better in communication.



    1. Me too! It’s so easy to clam up and just keep quiet, but communication truly is the key!

    1. Ha! We’re really not! I feel that I wear my heart on my sleeve and am an open book. 🙂

  9. These are all the needs I have too and need from my husband. My biggest is that he would listen to me something he struggles to do and also respect me.

    1. I understand about the listening! It must be in the male DNA to tune us out! Ha!

  10. Thank You for sharing this. It was very inspiring!

  11. YES! Love this I am forwarding this to my husband’s inbox! They are great reminders especially during the season of small children! Always love visiting your blog! You are such an encouragement!

    1. I LOVE that you shared this with your hubby! Best wishes to you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *