To the Woman Who Dreads Mother’s Day

To the Woman Who Dreads Mother’s Day,

It’s supposed to be a day filled with smiles, laughter, and memories honoring the one who brought us into this life.

It’s supposed to be a day of loving on our sweet children, thankful for the role of motherhood.

But sometimes it’s not.

To the Woman Who Dreads Mother's Day Faith Along the Way

Sometimes Mother’s Day can be one of the most painful days of the year, and many women wear plastered-on smiles to mask the ache they feel inside.

For me, just a mere five years ago, Mother’s Day was complete torture.

I realize I’m not alone in this.  There are women everywhere who have a hard time with Mother’s Day and bear burdens instead of joy.

It’s ok if you’re one of them.  You are not alone, and I promise, I’m a friend who knows this road of heartache all too well.

For five years Hubs and I prayed for the blessing of a child, as we waited for God’s plan to unfold.  During that time, I grieved, cried, and tried every trick in the book to become pregnant, aching for the chance to become a mother.

Longing to be a part of the mommy club,  I already felt like an outsider, but that ache was amplified on this Hallmark holiday, and each year I would dread Mother’s Day even more.

Friend, I know your tears and have felt every ounce of your pain, too.

I know your feelings of failure after you watch friend after friend announce her pregnancy.

I know you’re wondering at what’s in store for you and if you will ever become a mom.

I know that with each passing birthday you cringe a little, knowing it’s another year without a child.

I know that baby showers take a toll on your weary spirit, as you try to be brave and put on a happy face for your friend.

I know the times you’ve cried yourself to sleep after seeing another negative test or after another failed fertility treatment.

While I can’t predict the future or know what God has planned, I do know He loves you with a love so deep that it can fill every ounce of pain and longing you feel.

His love can and will fill that child-size void in your heart.

And your identity does not lie in the ability to conceive, your identity lies in Him.

With compassion and understanding, He hears your cries and wipes your tears.

His peace will restore your fragile spirit and give you new purpose if you let His healing presence consume you.

While His plan may not make sense to you, He sees the big picture and has eternity in His view.

Friend, as hard as it is, lay your burdens down, and surrender your dream to be a mother at His mighty feet.

Allow Him to bring you out of darkness and put your hope in His promises alone, not in the what this life holds for you.

Trust Him in moments when you are overwhelmed with fear and allow His strength to sustain you in moments of weakness.

And as for the dreaded Mother’s Day, you will survive!  I promise!

Start that day praising a God who faithfully never leaves your side, and find balm for your spirit nestled between the pages of His Word.

Acknowledge your hurt and the longing of your heart, but don’t dwell on it for the entire day.  Do something that you enjoy and find a way to bless the life of someone else.

While it’s tempting to stay in bed all day surrounded by chocolates, knowing that He who promised you life abundantly is waiting to show you His great plan, is a reason to face the day.

You can be confident in knowing that God will make your heart whole and healed, giving you a full and complete life in Him, with or without children.

How can I pray for your hurts this Mother’s Day?  Please let me know I will be on my knees for you!

This post was shared with the SITS Sharefest

About Sarah Ann

Sarah Ann is a perfectly imperfect wife and mother, and is thankful for the saving grace of the Lord. When she’s not busy folding yet another load of laundry or comforting a crying child, she enjoys studying God’s Word, writing, and spending time with authentic friends. She's passionate about equipping women to live with intentional faith, family, home, and habits at Proverbs31Mentor.com. Join her for biblical encouragement and practical lifestyle tips to help you live on mission for the glory of God.

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30 Comments

    1. Catholine says:

      We just had our 2nd failed IVF cycle this past week. I work in Labor and Delivery and want to keep my composure. Please pray for comfort and contiuned hope. I’m trying to hold on to what little optimism I have left. Thank you for this post.

      1. I am praying for you, Catholine! I know how hard that road can be, and I can’t imagine being surrounded by it all day long. God bless you!

  1. This is so needed! I know many women who are hurting on mother’s day. Sometimes it’s a lack of children. Sometimes a child has died. Sometimes a child has rebelled and doesn’t talk to the family anymore. Sometimes a child is in jail. Sometimes there are countless miscarriages. Sometimes women have had permanent birth control done and now deeply regret it. Sometimes women have fostered children for years only to have them ripped away. Sometimes women don’t like Mother’s day because they have/had an awful or abusive mother. I wish they would do away with the day altogether.
    Sherri S recently posted…Princess Put Downs and Mean Girl AttitudesMy Profile

    1. That’s so true! All of those situations you mentioned are tough and painful on a day like Mother’s Day. I’ll be praying for those ladies, too!

    1. I’m praying the same, Janet. May the woman who needs a ray of sunshine find this and be encouraged.

  2. Thank you thank you for your brutal honesty!!!!! I love this – Mother’s Day is difficult for me for another reason… I lost my beautiful, sweet mother over three years ago… it’s still such a journey and so, so difficult! My husband and two beautiful daughters make the day sweet…. but I find it is hardest “leading up to the actual day of Mother’s Day” as it is a continual reminder! Thank you for this post! This helps!

    1. I bet that is so difficult, Clare! I can only imagine how hard it is, but know God is with you every step of the way. 🙂

  3. What a touching post. Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me but in a different way. I lost my mother when I was 17 and it’s such a difficult day for me. Love your message of peace and hope!
    Deborah recently posted…SNAP Conference 2015My Profile

    1. I bet it is painful, Deborah! I am so sorry for your loss and that your time with your mom was cut short. I’ll be praying healing over your heart!

  4. I have so many friends who are dealing with infertility and wishing and hoping and praying that they’ll have a child. My heart breaks for them. I sometimes wonder why such wonderful people aren’t given a child – it makes no sense to me.

    This is a beautiful raw post and I’m so thankful that you wrote it. <3

    1. I was the same way, until for me, I saw the reason why God withheld a natural born child from us. He knew my children needed to be placed with us through adoption and needed a loving home. I would never have been open to adoption otherwise, so it’s been amazing to watch Him work!

  5. Tina Marie says:

    Thank you for sharing this very touching and personal story. You have a beautiful soul. Mother’s Day is very tough for me, as I lost my mother 3 years ago to a medical mistake that took her from us, and I still miss her dearly.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss! I can’t imagine how painful that must be, especially knowing it was a mistake. God bless you on your journey to healing. 🙂

  6. Bless you, friend. What a gift of encouragement to reach out through all you have learned and been loved through. You are amazing. ♡
    Dawn
    Dawn recently posted…Refining Arrows of LoveMy Profile

    1. Thank you, Sarah! It can be such a struggle and I know I felt completely alone in this. 🙂 Blessings to you for encouraging others

  7. Thank you for sharing your heart and for giving words to the women who may not be able to communicate their feelings in this way. Such an important message.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement! May my struggles help others in need!

  8. Me too, Adrienne! Providing love and support is such a blessing to them, I’m sure!

  9. I am so glad you wrote about this Sarah. It is an important subject and I appreciate your perspective. My own season of infertility was short-lived (just 1 1/2 years) but it was the most difficult season of my life. I cannot comprehend what it would be like if God had allowed me to stay there long-term. It is only by His grace an through His strength.
    Sarah Koontz {Grounded & Surrounded} recently posted…Motherhood is a lot like Candy LandMy Profile

  10. Thank you for this post. I was dreading Mother’s Day this year because I’ve been struggling with infertility for the past 2 years. But this year has been particularly difficult. I needed a post like this to help remind me to trust in God’s perfect will for my life and to ultimately live for Him. Thanks you for your encouragement!

    1. Blessings to you, Jen! I agree that infertility can dampen Mother’s Day, but just know you have a friend here who’s praying for you. 🙂 God bless!

  11. Thanks for writing this. This is something that quite a few friends and I are going through right now. That, and my mom passed away 9 years ago, so this mothers day I am trying to make it special for my mother in law.
    Megan recently posted…Chicken FajitasMy Profile

    1. It can be so difficult! I was praying for all my friends yesterday, including you!

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