Learning to Love the Girl in the Mirror

There I was in the bathroom of a local restaurant when they came in.

You know, those ladies.

The ones that have a lifetime of being beautiful, thin, popular, and just exude confidence from their perfect pores.

 

Just their presence made me more aware of my shortcomings and my thrift store clothes, which I was pretty satisfied with when I left the house.

I really was minding my own business as I washed my hands, but couldn’t help overhear their conversation.

They were complaining about their looks, all three of their perfect faces scrunched up in the mirror and whining about every so-called-flaw.

Seriously?!  I saw no flaws whatsoever in the women. They looked like the types that have never had a beauty dilemma in their life.

When you look at your reflection, do you see every flaw? You were made for so much more than meets the eye, and here's how to embrace your true worth.

But then it hit me.

No matter how impressive you look on the outside, most women are insecure about some aspect of their appearance.

Most have an inner monologue that criticizes instead of loves, that scrutinizes instead of embraces.

Have you ever thought something like this….

“I wish my ____ were a little smaller.”

“If only I had less wrinkles.”

“These gray hairs make me look OLD!”

“My stomach is flabby and won’t go down after childbirth.”

“I hate my ______.  ”

“I would be satisfied with my appearance if______.”

If we’re honest, most of us can relate to at least one of these scenarios.

But friend, you and I need to talk.

It’s time we as women, start learning to accept who we are, flaws and all and let go of ridiculous standards of perfection.

If we were sitting face to face, I’d have to be honest and say,

“Friend,

You were made to be you.

Your looks, your face, those gray hairs are not a mistake.

Those curves and those wrinkles were designed and fashioned by God.

He created you with love and designed you EXACTLY as you should be.

But He didn’t just sculpt your body in His image.

He gave you a heart to love deeply and a personality to make your outer beauty sparkle and shine.

God sees you are beautiful and calls you beloved, so why don’t you?

Learning to love the girl in the mirror may not be easy, but you were meant to be more than your reflection.

It’s time to accept yourself as you are.

Take a long, objective look in the mirror. Honestly evaluate your outer appearance.

You may not see a supermodel, or a flawless face, but look closely as to not miss who you really are.

Those wrinkles are road maps to times of laughter and joy. That’s beauty.

That crease in your brow line tells of times when life was tough and serious, yet here you are.  You overcame. That’s character.

That stomach that doesn’t lay as flat as it used to, nestled your unborn babies.  That’s selfless.

There may be extra pounds on your frame now, but they don’t define you; there is more to you on the inside than what meets the eye. That’s strength.

 

Inside, you are filled with talents and abilities given to you by God.

He is grooming you, molding you, preparing you in His image to blossom with the gifts He’s blessed you with for His glory.

Regardless of what your outer vessel looks like, you have a talent, a purpose, and a reason you are here on earth.

You are the only one that can fulfill your calling for His Kingdom.

So be kind to yourself and quit the negative self talk!

It’s time to accept who you are, every last flaw, and trust that you are a work in progress.

More importantly, God’s working on your heart, refining your inner beauty, and eventually the joy of the Lord will bubble over into your outer appearance, making you radiate His love to the world.

He’s not finished with you yet.

You can rest in His love, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” Phillippians 1:6.

While you wait for your purpose to be revealed and you try to love the girl in the mirror, don’t compare yourself to others.

When you compare yourself to others and wish to be someone you’re not, you miss the beauty of who God created you to be.

Don’t shame His handiwork, telling Him you’re are not satisfied with His creation and the vessel He’s created for you.

And in those moments of doubt, when you look in the mirror to find another wrinkle or catch a glimpse of another gray hair, you can rest in knowing you weren’t made to be perfect.

While you may never fully accept the girl in your reflection, your inner beauty is what matters to the Lord.

And when your confidence rests in Him alone, there is hardly a more breathtaking woman. You are beloved.

“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

I Samuel 16:7

About Sarah Ann

Sarah Ann is a perfectly imperfect wife and mother, and is thankful for the saving grace of the Lord. When she’s not busy folding yet another load of laundry or comforting a crying child, she enjoys studying God’s Word, writing, and spending time with authentic friends. She's passionate about equipping women to live with intentional faith, family, home, and habits at Proverbs31Mentor.com. Join her for biblical encouragement and practical lifestyle tips to help you live on mission for the glory of God.

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50 Comments

  1. Thank you for the wonderful reminder! What a world we would live in, if everyone could would look inward and the beauty God has blessed us all with! Have a blessed day my friend!
    Stephanie recently posted…Facing the Scale…My Profile

    1. Yes! It may be a struggle to remember at times what truly matters, but it’s such an important lesson to grasp and live!

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it until I read it. It is one of those things that deep down I know, but sometimes need the reminder. Thank you again.
    Blessings,
    Rashel

    1. It’s so funny how we think we are fine in this aspect, until we realize we don’t love ourselves like we should. Blessings to you on your journey!

  3. Such an amazing post! I completely agree with you. We must look to our inward beauty in order to see our outward beauty. I really need this today! I began to compare myself to others, looking at all my flaws forgetting about the strength and character that has made me who i am! Thank you again for an amazing post and something we all need to hear at times!
    Jasmine recently posted…A Single Girls Guide: RejectionMy Profile

    1. Thank you! It’s so easy to forget where our worth comes from and Who gives us value. While I love to look cute, it’s not what makes me who I am!

  4. This is such a needed message. I love this, “Don’t shame his handiwork telling Him…” so often I do this, and it is wrong. Thank you friend.
    Love,
    Dawn

  5. Leah Marie says:

    Love!!! Thanks for the encouragement !!

    1. Thank you, sweet friend! It’s been such a blessing to get to know you and I am so glad this encouraged you. Many blessings to you!

  6. This is beautiful. What a needed reminder. This is a very personal struggle for me as I’ve always been my own worst critic, but am learning (slowly) to stop worrying about what I think I see in the mirror and more about what God sees.
    Mary recently posted…Crispy Oven Roasted Pork BellyMy Profile

    1. It’s so true that we see flaws, while God sees beauty. I’ll be praying for your heart as you learn to accept who God created you to be. Thanks for sharing your heart!

  7. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. These are truths that we need to come back to over and over again, always reminding ourselves. Yes, we are made the way we are because God has a plan for us, and we are his workmanship, let’s not complain about that. 🙂
    Dawn recently posted…By His Spirit, We Can TrustMy Profile

    1. It’s so easy to only see the flaws, but God wants us to see and appreciate His beautiful creation!

  8. What a wonderful reminder that each and every one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made! Thank you for this encouragement today, Sarah Ann.

    PS: Visiting you via Grace & Truth Linkup today 🙂
    Tina M Wright recently posted…God’s Word Endures ForeverMy Profile

    1. Hi Tina! Thanks for stopping by from Grace & Truth! I’m glad you were encouraged and pray you are on a journey of learning to love the girl in the mirror.

    1. So nice to meet you, Kristen! I’m glad you can relate! Blessings to you!

  9. These are powerful words. One of the benefits of being in my 30s is becoming happier with who I am and what I look like. I don’t spend nearly as much time stressing about it as I did in my 20s. I figure when I’m in my 60s I’ll probably be all to happy to have my 30-soemthing body, so why not enjoy it now?
    Keisha | The Girl Next Door is Black recently posted…Friday Five: Weekly Twitter Roundup 2/06/15My Profile

    1. Good for you! I think it’s high time more ladies take your attitude and embrace who they really are. I love it!

  10. Beautiful post! It touches the deep part of every woman — insecurity. Yet, as you point out our security is supposed to be in the Lord, not ourselves. Thanks for your post!

  11. This is such an important topic and area of ‘study’ for each woman (and I’d say men, too). Those messages we’re taught, the ones we learn from the moment we hit the air are so tough to fight.

    Learning to love ourselves, really deeply truly love ourselves is a process (or at least it was for me), but oh so worth it. I still have those moments (or days) when I don’t see myself for all that I am, but usually it only takes a few moments to myself, a nice shower/bath and I feel so much better. Being a mother, I think, is especially difficult because I’m giving giving giving all day and night every day of the year. But that’s also why it’s so important to take a few minutes to honor myself, too! 🙂

    Stopping by from Mommy Mondays!
    Life Breath Present recently posted…We Bought a House!!My Profile

    1. It’s always a blessing to know what you’re not alone and that others feel the same way you do! Thanks for stopping by!

  12. Hi Sarah! I am one of your linky neighbors today at Holly’s… I am so glad to connect with you today. This is a inspiring reminder of the importance of true confidence – we can only find in God! Showers of blessings to you 🙂
    Heading over to twitter to connect with you there

    Love Danise

    1. Thank you, Danise! I just added you back on Twitter and look forward to connecting with you more! Blessings to you!

  13. Sarah Ann,
    What words of wisdom for all women and especially those with daughters, who can lead by their own acceptance of themselves! Loved this post, friend!
    Valerie Sisco recently posted…Following my Heart to ItalyMy Profile

    1. Thank you, Valerie! We can be our own worst critics, but God loves us exactly as we are!

  14. What an important post this is, Sarah Ann. A much needed one for me, too! Too often I focus on what I’m not, when it is always so much better to focus on my Creator and what He has created me to be. Thank you for sharing this! Blessings!
    Ronja recently posted…walking with grief and lossMy Profile

  15. Thank you so much for sharing this beautifully written and truly insightful message, Sarah Ann.

    I finally became content with my outward appearance when I realized that God is concerned with the heart.

    I also understood that when I complain about my appearance, I am calling God’s creation less than perfect.

    Loved this part, “But He didn’t just sculpt your body in His image. He gave you a heart to love deeply and a personality to make your outer beauty sparkle and shine.”

    Oh, that we would all learn to love the girl in the mirror rather than wish we were the other girls in the mirror – thrift store clothes, soft tummies, and all the rest.

    Blessings, my beautiful friend!
    Heather @ My Overflowing Cup recently posted…Simple {Two Ingredient} Coconut ChocolatesMy Profile

  16. This is one of the most inspiring post I have read in a long time. I am that girl in the mirror as most women are. I believe that women in power women along with grace! Thank You, for posting such an inspiring piece.
    Tina Marie recently posted…Family Style LasagnaMy Profile

    1. Thank you so much! I’m honored that it inspired you and encouraged you. You are right that we can empower each other with grace and acceptance.

    1. Oh yes we are, Terri! And I’m tired of hating the girl in the mirror!

  17. Just the encouragement I needed today! I’m at the point in my pregnancy where I can only fit into my husbands clothes, and I’m too tired to wear make-up or do my hair. This last year God really challenged me to focus on my inner beauty, and from that growth I have found a lot more confidence and less negative thoughts.

    1. I’m sure you are beautiful and glowing with expected motherhood. Congrats!

    1. It can be so hard to do sometimes, but when we see ourselves through the eyes of Jesus, may we be more inclined to love ourselves like He made us to be.

  18. Thank you for your honesty and reminder that God created us! We are beautiful!

    1. Yes, we are! Can’t we just stop being our our worst critics?!

  19. The older I get the more difficult this is. I didn’t used to have a problem with this until peri menopause hit. Now I feel old and saggy and lately I’m gaining weight. Thank you.

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