Adoption is beautiful and it never ceases to amaze me how God hand-picks and unites families together. To me, it’s a tangible expression of God’s love for all involved.
Adoption has changed my life and my heart by making me a mom to babies who desperately needed a forever family.
But Hubs and I weren’t always ready to embrace adoption. We battled infertility for five years, doing homeopathic remedies, trying crazy tips and tricks, and two rounds of IUI to try for a biological baby.
In his infinite wisdom, God had a better and different plan to complete our family, only he had to bring me to the point where I had open ears and an open heart, and was ready to see what was next on his perfect path.
I believe that being open and ready to adopt is a journey in and of itself, and you’ll know you’re ready to begin after you’ve had these major revelations.
You’ve Grieved, Accepted and are Open
Whether or not you realize it, there is a grieving period as you accept that you will not have biological children of your own. For me, I spent three months wrestling with God, questioning his will for my life once he closed the door to biological motherhood. I cried, I prayed, I questioned, I screamed and I grieved with such heart break and sorrow. Once the dream of motherhood was gone, I had no idea what was the purpose of my life.
But I knew that God was faithful; he promised to never leave my side, that the pain was not permanent and that he had a plan for me.
It’s the same with you, my friend. God is still good and deserves your praise, even in times of uncertainty and shattered dreams.
Lay the dream of motherhood at his feet in humble surrender, and allow yourself to grieve the loss. Cry to him, even yell at him, knowing that he is sovereign and records each and every tear you shed. Pour out your sorrow and heartache, being completely honest and vulnerable, allowing him to slowly heal you, trusting that he can and will restore your brokenness.
Continue to reach out to the Lord with open hands as you ask him to reveal your next steps.
Don’t rush the grieving to get to the healing. Through the pain he is refining your character and sharpening your faith.
When you allow God’s light to pierce through the darkness of grief, and bring you to a place of acceptance, you are opening your heart to receive the blessings he wants to lavish upon you.
You Know You Can Love and Accept a Child That’s Not Biologically Yours
When I was ready to adopt, my dream of motherhood stopped depending on being pregnant or giving birth to my own child. I was simply ready to be a mom and have my dream of being called “mama” come true! I was ready to cuddle a baby of my own and knew I would love this child, this gift from God, as my own no matter what.
As you consider adoption, you and your spouse have to know 100% that you can love a child that was not born from your womb but grew as a dream in your heart.
If one of you are not able to do this yet, talk though it, pray through it, until you come to a mutual understanding and you either decide to delay or proceed with your adoption journey. (Have questions about the adoption process? Visit here.)
You Don’t Think of Adoption as a Consolation Prize
Walking the road of infertility can be a lonely and heartbreaking. It can be devastating when the life you’ve always imagined suddenly is not a possibility. Thankfully, God is faithful to guide our paths and reveal his beautiful plan for us, and sometimes that plan still involves the pitter- patter of little feet through the beauty of adoption.
But adoption is not second best.
It’s not a consolation prize.
It’s not something to settle for and not less of a miracle.
Adoption is beautiful.
Adoption is biblical.
Adoption gives families hope of a lifetime of memories and snuggles.
Adoption is not less.
Before you start the mountains of paper work and scrub your house harder than you ever will in your life for your home study, honestly assess your heart on where you are on this journey. Wherever you are, whether still grieving or sporting a newly restored heart, don’t rush the process.
Pray without ceasing and allow God to lead you in HIS timing to the baby that HE has saved just for you.
And when you hold that bundle of joy in your arms for the first time, every tear you’ve cried and all the hurt you’ve felt is worth it. Your baby is worth it and God has written a story of hope, love and faithfulness just for your family, so go out and share the good news!