How to Help Your Husband When He Wrestles With Faith and Doubts God
A variety of life’s situations and circumstances can shake even the strongest faith, especially for husbands. Trying to navigate the throws of life from being a provider and head of household to the protector of his family to lover of his wife, an overwhelmed husband may find he doubts God and wrestles with his faith.
In some cases you may not even realize that your husband is experiencing what’s called a “faith crisis,” and other times it may be completely evident.
If it’s the former, checking in with your husband and cultivating open communication is a great way to know if he’s going through something that needs your help. If it’s the latter, and you know he’s struggling, the question then becomes, “How do I help him?”
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How to Help Your Husband When He’s Struggling With His Faith and Doubts God
Lead By Example
It’s always been said that actions speak louder than words. This couldn’t be more true in this situation of helping your husband through a faithless and doubtful time.
Yes, a wife’s initial reaction may be one of trying to change her husband, but we all know that typically ends. Instead of focusing on changing your husband, decide to model your vibrant faith.
This may look like continuing to attend church, leading the family in prayer, spending time in God’s Word, and/or having a regular quiet time yourself.
Also, consider acts of service, humility, and a quiet and gentle spirit as a way to shine the love of Jesus to your husband.
Yet it’s important to note that you are human! When you make mistakes and mess up (trust me, you will!), ask his forgiveness. Then, when he messes up (trust me, he will!), show grace like Jesus, even when it’s hard, and let your life be an example.
Although it may not seem like it at times, God can and will minister to your husband through your obedience and leading by example.
Create a Safe Place to Share His Doubts
It is part of our wifely duties to create a safe place for our husbands to share their doubts. When a husband feels safe, supported, and trusted, he is more likely to open up about what he is going through and welcome our help in getting through it.
This can be accomplished several ways, but the two primary ways are to welcome his questions and not being condemning or judgmental in appearance or response.
Loving actions (and reactions) will always speak louder than words.
Sometimes all our husband needs is our listening ears and a sounding board. Other times they may need a hug and our tender touch of understanding. While other times, he need a verbal response of assurance and acceptance of his doubting.
Regardless, use discernment in responding and always seek to create that safe place. Even when it’s hard to hear him doubt God or wonder about His provision, have the courage to be the safe place where he turns for wisdom and encouragement.
Point Him to Truth
Through a fostered safe place for your husband to open up, be prepared for his questions. Intentionally listen for cue words or phrases that can shed light on how you can help him with his doubts.
Although the conversation may not warrant an immediate response, you will at least have a starting point for seeking truth about the matter on your own.
There are also times when getting community support from your sisters (and brothers) in Christ is necessary. You can gently suggest meeting with a mentor or pastor who is better equipped for answering his deep questions. And, this also shows that you don’t have to do it on your own or have to be perfect to have a relationship with God.
If and/or when your husband is ready, you could even study the Bible together. A good place to start is with a topical study (such as exploring God’s character or fundamentals of Christianity).
Take it slow and trust God to fill in the gaps of the awkwardness and meet your husband in his questions.
This is probably a given, but we could always use the reminder of how powerful prayer truly is. Prayer also has a full circle effect, meaning it can be life changing for the person being prayed for and the person who is doing the praying.
While praying for your husband, believe that God will grow him in faith. Fervently pray for his salvation and spiritual growth.
At the end of the day, being our husbands help meet is a great calling. We can count it all joy when we are able to help our husbands through times of faithlessness and doubting God.