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Core Conversations for Your Marriage

Hubs and I love to joke around at home and keep the atmosphere lighthearted.  Neither one of us are confrontational and we’d soon avoid a subject than work through an issue. {I know, that’s SO not healthy for a relationship!}

On the surface, it’s great to have a house of peace and harmony, but it’s also dangerous to keep true feelings locked inside.

Sometimes there’s a need for deep discussion about a relationship in order for it to continue to grow.

With busy schedules, often our true feelings are put on the back burner simply because we’re too exhausted to face the reality of our marriage or marvel at the obstacles we’ve overcome.

But a healthy marriage needs to celebrate the good and tweak the bad in order to continue to have a thriving relationship.

Having “core conversations” for your relationship is the perfect opportunity to talk through and pray through important marital issues.

It’s not a time for guilt and pointing fingers.

Also, it’s not a time of heated arguments where spouses blame each other for their short comings.

And it’s certainly not a situation to be entered into lightly. This is a time where both couples come together to talk in love, peace, and with the desire to build a solid relationship.

If not handled delicately and with caution, a these core conversations can completely undermine the goal. The ultimate result should be to rationally evaluate every aspect of your marriage. Pray hard as you prepare to connect with your spouse and share your heart.

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How to Have Core Conversations for Your Marriage

  1. Plan your discussion for a time with little distractions, especially kids, and where you can talk openly and honestly.
  2. Pray for a spirit of transparency and humility in both of you as you begin your discussion.
  3. Be prepared to share the areas of your marriage that are working well, and praise your spouse for the area that he/she excels. Be generous with your compliments!
  4. Delicately plan your words for the areas your spouse needs to improve.  Be as loving and encouraging as possible, but still be truthful.
  5. Expect that your spouse will share areas you need to improve, and come with an open heart and mind as you receive your areas to grow.
  6. Respect the feelings of your spouse, even if you don’t agree, and let him/her have a safe place to share without fear or judgement.
  7. Be quick to listen and slow to speak, putting yourself in the shoes of your spouse, and trying to really understand their view point.
  8. Plan out the topics that you’ll be discussing in advance and agree not to come angry.  Setting an appointment with each other to talk instead of in a moment of anger will help you come to the table with an open heart and mind.
  9. Truly take to heart the needs of your spouse, and discuss specific ways you can implement change in the areas in which you need to grow.
  10. Dream together about life in a few years and the changes that can happen when both parties work towards pleasing the other.
  11. Pray together (or for your spouse if he/she won’t pray with you) and take actions each day towards meeting the needs of your spouse.

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Help your marriage thrive with these core conversations ALL married couples need to have. marriage advice I marriage I marriage problems I Christian marriage I marriage communication II Faith Along the Way #marriage #marriagegoals #marriagegoals

Free Core Conversation Printables

You and your spouse can complete these printables separately and then use to prompt your discussion.

Through these printables, you’ll evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of:

  • Daily life and routine
  • Finances
  • Intimacy
  • Communication
  • Spiritual

{Psst… Grab your Core Conversations for Your Marriage printables here! }

 

While it may seem intimating and may be something you dread, evaluating your life together is a wonderful way to strengthen the bond of your marriage.

Don’t let fear keep you from having a marriage that’s honest and full of truth.  Pray for strength to initiate this conversation and for the right words to speak during your discussion.

God can heal even the most broken marriages and can restore what’s been battered by the storms of life. Have faith and above all, commit to pray for your spouse each day, no matter where you stand right now.  I’m praying for you!

How do you communicate your needs and desires to your spouse? 

17 Comments

  1. Amazing printables with excellent questions – I love the “rating” issues on a number scale. Thank you for this great resource!

    1. Thank you, Anna! May it bless those marriages that really need an honest conversation with each other!

  2. I LOVE this!! My hubby and I are the exact same way! We don’t like to argue so rather than deal with an issue we tend to ignore it and hope it goes away. I’ve been looking for a way to bring up one certain issue with him for a couple of weeks and I think this is perfect! Thanks so much for sharing!

    1. Good for you for realizing it needs to be brought to light! I think so often how we deal with issues depends on your tone and how you approach it. Best wishes for a healthy conversation!

  3. Great and planned way to deal with good and (not so good) things in our marriage – love the printables! Very helpful! I love your points to be slow to talk, and listen and sitting down together uninterrupted – that’s important I think.

    1. Uninterrupted time is SO important! It can be a challenge to find time together alone, but it’s so worth it for a healthy discussion!

  4. This is absolutely fantastic Sarah! I plan on printing off my copy…my husband and I usually have our “state of the union” on our anniversary…going on 27 years of marriage. Since my husband’s career is in Human Resources we jokingly call it a “performance review”…I usually flunk submission 🙂 I keep pressing on and praying for God to accomplish it in my life!

    1. I love the idea of a “performance review”! How amazing and inspirational that you and your husband have this every year!

  5. This is so helpful. I love, ” But a healthy marriage needs to celebrate the good and tweak the bad in order to continue to have a thriving relationship. ” Thank you for the printable!

    1. I think it’s easy to avoid conversations that are hot topics and easy to let our true feelings be voiced. 🙂

  6. I absolutely love this! The idea of a state of the union is such a good idea. I’m learning that as much as I would love my husband to be physic, he’s not. Opening the communication to a forum like this definitely has the power to change the relationship.

  7. I really love this! My husband and I also avoid tough topics. I just shared this with him, and we plan to implement this soon! Thanks for sharing.

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