Hubs and I love to joke around at home and keep the atmosphere lighthearted.  Neither one of us are confrontational and we’d soon avoid a subject than work through an issue. {I know, that’s SO not healthy for a relationship!}

On the surface, it’s great to have a house of peace and harmony, but it’s also dangerous to keep true feelings locked inside.

Sometimes there’s a need for deep discussion about a relationship in order for it to continue to grow.

With busy schedules, often our true feelings are put on the back burner simply because we’re too exhausted to face the reality of our marriage or marvel at the obstacles we’ve overcome.

But a healthy marriage needs to celebrate the good and tweak the bad in order to continue to have a thriving relationship.

Having “core conversations” for your relationship is the perfect opportunity to talk through and pray through important marital issues.

It’s not a time for guilt and pointing fingers.

Also, it’s not a time of heated arguments where spouses blame each other for their short comings.

And it’s certainly not a situation to be entered into lightly. This is a time where both couples come together to talk in love, peace, and with the desire to build a solid relationship.

If not handled delicately and with caution, a these core conversations can completely undermine the goal. The ultimate result should be to rationally evaluate every aspect of your marriage. Pray hard as you prepare to connect with your spouse and share your heart.

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How to Have Core Conversations for Your Marriage

1. Plan your discussion for a time with little distractions, especially kids, and where you can talk openly and honestly.
2. Pray for a spirit of transparency and humility in both of you as you begin your discussion.
3. Be prepared to share the areas of your marriage that are working well, and praise your spouse for the area that he/she excels. Be generous with your compliments!
4. Delicately plan your words for the areas your spouse needs to improve.  Be as loving and encouraging as possible, but still be truthful.
5. Expect that your spouse will share areas you need to improve, and come with an open heart and mind as you receive your areas to grow.
6. Respect the feelings of your spouse, even if you don’t agree, and let him/her have a safe place to share without fear or judgement.
7. Be quick to listen and slow to speak, putting yourself in the shoes of your spouse, and trying to really understand their view point.
8. Plan out the topics that you’ll be discussing in advance and agree not to come angry.  Setting an appointment with each other to talk instead of in a moment of anger will help you come to the table with an open heart and mind.
9. Truly take to heart the needs of your spouse, and discuss specific ways you can implement change in the areas in which you need to grow.
10. Dream together about life in a few years and the changes that can happen when both parties work towards pleasing the other.
11. Pray together (or for your spouse if he/she won’t pray with you) and take actions each day towards meeting the needs of your spouse.

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Free Core Conversation Printables

You and your spouse can complete these printables separately and then use to prompt your discussion.

Through these printables, you’ll evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of:

• Daily life and routine
• Finances
• Intimacy
• Communication
• Spiritual

{Psst… Grab your Core Conversations for Your Marriage printables here! }

While it may seem intimating and may be something you dread, evaluating your life together is a wonderful way to strengthen the bond of your marriage.

Don’t let fear keep you from having a marriage that’s honest and full of truth.  Pray for strength to initiate this conversation and for the right words to speak during your discussion.

God can heal even the most broken marriages and can restore what’s been battered by the storms of life. Have faith and above all, commit to pray for your spouse each day, no matter where you stand right now.  I’m praying for you!

How do you communicate your needs and desires to your spouse?