It All Starts with Dad

As mothers in general, we have big dreams for our children. As Christian moms, we have an added desire to see our children come to the Lord. We hustle on Sunday mornings to get them up, feed, dressed, and out the door to church. We take them to Awana on Wednesday nights and attempt to get a Bible story and prayer in each night at bedtime. It helps us feel we have our checklist in order and our hearts aligned correctly. We lean on Proverbs 22:6:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Today, however, I want to encourage the moms out there to slow down a little. If you are like me, you go through your daily routine at the speed of light, and before you know it, the day is gone. So let’s sit back for just a couple minutes, take a deep breath, and recognize we may have left something undone. But don’t panic! You know that task will still be there when we are done! Soak in these moments with God, and let all the distractions go.

Ladies, rearing our children comes so naturally to most us; but for your husband, maybe not so much. Raising our children, but more importantly leading them to Christ, is meant to be a two parent job. Now, before we are too hard on the guys for leaving it all up to us, we need to evaluate whether we invite our husbands into the process or whether we “take over.”

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

Some fellows may be downright intimidated in this area of child-rearing. I think part of it is a deep seated fear that they don’t measure up to the Father, and that they will mess it up. At least, I know my husband has struggled with those thoughts.

I can tell you from experience that I got ahead of my husband in this area. I don’t think I ever troubled him to read the Bible to our son or pray with him at bedtime. I just took on this role without thinking, and honestly, I didn’t do so well.

Oh, our son was in church every Sunday, and he was a part of Believers kids when he was young and 4Real as a teenager. But now he is eighteen years old and becoming a young man! He has accepted Jesus as his Savior and was baptized, but it is time to really start showing him how to walk out his faith.

Looking back I can see all the times I probably blocked my husband from being a part of the process. Now I wonder what impact it could have had on our son’s life had he been in the forefront. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a good man and faithful to God, but in this area, he was on the periphery.

As I am learning to be a better wife these days, I am learning to make sure my husband has a very prominent role in our son’s spiritual growth. It doesn’t come naturally for either of us, and we have to work at it like most things in a marriage. We are still far from perfect, but we are starting to put it all together.

I think we have to remember the scriptures say “honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). In this day and age, when women are taking on very prominent roles all throughout society and feminism lurks in the background, we as Christian wives and mothers must remember how important our guy is in the process. We need to give him the space he needs to become the spiritual head of the household as God intended. My sisters, we will thank ourselves later.

Now for those of you, whose husband has not taken on the role as spiritual head, hang in there, and keep praying for him. And for those who have found themselves in the role of single mother, the rest of us are here for you. But more importantly, the Father is here for you. I believe your efforts will be blessed as you teach your children that they have a Father in heaven that loves them and watches over them daily. Take heart, for the scriptures praise Timothy’s grandmother and mother as they filled this role in his life (2 Timothy 1:5).

Yes, children need direction. For those of us that have husbands in the home, let’s pray for them, encourage them, and take a step back. Give him some room my friends and watch God work! I believe your heart will be overjoyed at what takes place and that your family will be strengthened beyond belief.

My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 6:20

Blessings to you and yours!

Life Application:

When it comes to leading your children to Christ, is your husband standing at a distance or are you standing in his path? How can you encourage your husband today to increase his presence in your child’s spiritual life?

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This post was shared by Elaine is an author, blogger, and speaker. Her first book, Love Echoed Back: I Cried Out; He Answered, is available through www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com.

She is a long-standing member of Believers Church as well as an active small group leader, leading women-based groups for the last five years. It is her privilege to be a part of the Prayer Team and pray each week over those who seek intercession after the evening service. In addition, she has been a member and co-leader of the church’s Missions Team since 2010, traveling yearly to Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua to support the work of the local church and orphanage there.

Professionally, Elaine has been in the nursing profession for over twenty years. She dedicated the first half of her nursing career to the field of Oncology and the second half to the area of Pain Management. In 2005, she became a certified family nurse practitioner. In the last several years, she has transitioned out of the clinical arena into a nonclinical advisory role in the area of medical record documentation, coding, and auditing.

Verses are from:

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.