What Moms Would Admit if They Were Honest

There’s a misconception flitting around the motherhood community.

Hide your flaws, be perfect, act like it you can do it all; lest another judge and scorn you from her high horse.

Well, the perfection expectation ends here.

I, for one, am a lover of reality.

I embrace every aspect of motherhood, including those moments where life is messy, my kids look disheveled , and I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with potty training!

It’s my desire that as women we could lay down the illusion of perfection, the one that says we have this whole thing figured out, and just be real with each other.

In my mind, that honesty and vulnerability allows for growth on behalf of mothers everywhere.

Those moms who do have their act together can lovingly shepherd and share their expertise, helping and encouraging the mom who struggles.

More importantly, we could learn to laugh at ourselves a little more, embrace the messiness of motherhood, and just be ourselves.

Because if we’re honest, really honest, there are things we’ve all done just to keep our head above the waters of motherhood, and to keep our mom sanity.

There are situations in which we’ve let high standards go and things we’ve done just because life was hectic.

There are secrets tucked away in our mommy hearts that we would never openly share with others for fear of seeming like a “bad mom”.

Until now.

moms would admit

 

Upon my recent poll of mothers, I laughed in agreement, knowing I too, am guilty of some, if not all of these secret mother survival tips.

So if the boxing gloves of motherhood were off, here’s a few things we may admit.  Can you relate?

1. I’ve given my kids candy to keep them quiet and to bribe them.

2. I’ve let them eat something off the floor, even in public.

3. There are days when the kids watch too much T.V. so I can get things done.

4. Some days the kids defeat me and the score seems to be kids-20, mom-0.

5. When’s the last time they had a bath?  I can’t remember…

What would YOU confess if you were honest, mama?  These results from a recent "mom poll" will have you laughing in agreement and helps you come to terms with the messiness of motherhood.

 

 

6. At the end of some days, my house looks as though a bomb’s blown up, and I leave it that way until the morning.

7. Don’t look too closely at my kid’s socks, they may be mismatched.

8. Motherhood can be lonely.

9. There are days I will let them do pretty much anything to keep them quiet.

10. Motherhood is hard. It’s a beautiful, wonderful, gift, but still, it’s hard.

 

Hang in there, mama!

Together let’s learn to not sweat the small stuff, be real with our fellow moms, and laugh at those messy moments.

And on those days where the kids seem to have gotten the best of us, let’s remember that no family is perfect and no mom really has it all together.

We’re all just doing the best we can and by sharing our reality with each other, we build a community that supports instead of tears down.  And that’s a community I would be honored to be a part of!

What’s something you’ve done as a mom you rarely admit?  

Can you relate to any of the mom moments from the poll I conducted?

74 Comments

  1. Such great points! I was nodding my head, ‘yes’ the whole time I read it. 🙂 I’m so glad that I came across your blog through the Christian Women Blogs on fb this morning. 🙂 I agree that motherhood can be lonely and also agree that I/we need to laugh more rather than taking everything so seriously. Just love this post–thanks so much for sharing!

    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Jennie! I so appreciate it. It’s always a blessing to meet another kindred mom spirit and sister in Christ. 🙂

  2. Great post my friend! Oh so true for me on every single one of these!

  3. I can definitely relate to the part about not remembering when they had a bath…guess that means today is bath day!

    1. Ha! That was us last night! It’s winter so we’re allowed a few days off, right?!

  4. I have handed them my phone or my pad to entertain them while I get something done. I’ve also let them play video games on a screen so I could take a nap… Horrible, I know! 😉

    1. Oh, Maria! You are not alone! And let me tell you, if I didn’t think the house would come crashing down around me, I would definitely find a way to squeeze in a nap!

  5. Yes to all of this. My kid had a sticker on his face for almost two weeks. TWO WEEKS! Because I just couldn’t handle his shaking and sobbing every time I tried to get my hands on it. My kids socks rarely match, when they do it gets noticed more than when they don’t. I hate to admit it but, bathing is not as regular as it should be. I have a happy kid and I’m a happy momma. Sometimes the ‘stuff’ just has to wait!

    1. I just love that comment about the sticker! It makes me smile because I would be the same way. I try to maintain peace and calm where I can, and sometimes I vote for sanity over battling a child.

  6. Can most definitely relate. I’ll add that I’ve let my daughter eat mac n’ cheese more often than not, because on some nights I just can’t handle the fight.

    1. Oh yes! Some nights it’s more about a full tummy than what actually went in. We’re the same way at our house!

  7. Love the honesty of your article! I am always embarrassed how dirty my kids white socks are because I never mop often enough and give them a bath every second night and always forget which night I did it, so I can definitely relate.

    1. I hear you Kristen on the dirty socks! I refuse to mop my floors more than once a week, at best, and those floors get NASTY! We are the same about every other night baths. 🙂

  8. This is a great post! I kept saying YES YES YES! You are so not alone. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Laura! It’s so comforting to know that being so honest can be a blessing to others and refreshing to know you’re not alone!

  9. #3, 5, & 6 were especially true for me this week, with illness this past weekend and way too many snow days! And the bomb that went off? Yeah I waited three days to clean it up. But I did play a glorious hand of UNO with them, embarked on a treasure hunt they set up for me, watched Big Hero 6 the first time together, played in the snow a bit, and made a cardboard “robber” target to throw coasters at. Really NOTHING I can count as productive (the same 3 baskets of clean laundry and full suitcase from my trip last week still remain as is in my room) but I really had a great week and enjoyed my kids much more than I normally allow myself margin for!!!!

    1. Sickness is the worst! It seems like it takes nothing at all to get me out of routine and then all bets are off. You are right that quality time really is more important than everything else. I’m trying to remember that more!

  10. Looks like a normal mom to me! We stay in our pjs all day sometimes. And I haven’t felt good lately so we’ve watched lots of TV. And sometimes we skip baths because, well, we’re lazy. Fist bump.

    1. Oh, Erin! We really are kindred spirits! Love the honesty and my favorite part, about you not wanting to give a bath because of laziness just made me laugh out loud! I needed that tonight!

  11. I’ve done all those things, but I’m not afraid to admit it. This is who I am and how God made me. I listen to His guidance, so I’m not ashamed.

    I’m not saying I don’t think they are funny though! Just last night when I was ‘fighting’ wiht my three year old in CostCo, I started laughing so hard because I imagined how I must look to the other people around me. I have to find humor in the situations I find myself with kids!

    1. Good for you for being honest! I LOVE and embrace honesty, because once we can be free to be vulnerable, we are free from the stress that comes with perfection.

  12. I’ve always been honest about my failings as a mother. I remember before I had kids thinking that all the mothers knew everything and had everything together. And then I became a mom and met other moms and realized we’re all just learning everything as we’re going through it. I have had moments when I’ve cried in church because I felt so bad about the week I’d had with my kids–all the yelling–which I swore I’d never do–before I had kids. I find it’s extremely important to find a good mom support group. I was lucky to have that when my kids were young. Stopping by from Friendship Friday! 🙂

    1. I am the same way! Sometimes on Sundays, it’s as though once the music starts, it’s cue the tears. I love the idea of a mom support group! Thanks for weighing in!

  13. So funny and universally true…all the moms said, Amem! 🙂
    So I couldn’t think of anything when you asked om FB but a mom sanity moment happens here (still evem though I don’t have littles anymore), when I turn up the music and we dance and act cRaZy!! This craziness happens when I feel myslef standing too close to the edge. 😉

    Great post!
    Bless,
    Dawn

    1. Great idea, Dawn! We do the same thing around here and love to see my littles dance. I think regardless of the child age, moms need to figure out a way to balance and juggle in those crazy mom moments. Love the idea of the dance party!

  14. Ha! Oh, yes to so many of these! I once took my 3 year old daughter to daycare in a cute little skirt, only to find out when we got there that she decided not to wear her panties that day! Yes, I let her dress herself and didn’t think I needed to double check the situation. My job was none to thrilled with the call about why I was going to be late that day. Ugh!

    1. Oh no! LOL!!!! I have to admit that cracks me up! I am so bad about letting my kids dress themselves so bravo to you mom! Maybe do a pantie check before school! Ha!

  15. I am guilty of some of that too lol well more so when they were younger but still lol. This post caught my eye on #Sitsblogging Link up!

    1. Thanks for stopping by via SITS! I can see how once the kids get older some of this goes by the way side.

  16. I wear mismatched socks on purpose because I think it’s fun!

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I wrote a post once called Grace, Not Perfection because that should be our goal, right? Grace, grace, and just a little more grace.

    We just do the best we can, love our kiddos, and let God fill in for our lack. Thanks for sharing your precious family with us.

    By the way, baths are for Saturday night or Sunday mornings just before church, right? 🙂

  17. I love this and agree with you wholeheartedly. I hope this post is seen by all types of mothers who are encouraged to blog of being real. I struggle so much with the idea of perfection. I’m always open to other mothers but I want to be perfect. It’s a hard internal dichotomy.

    Oh, by the way, MY name is Sarah-Anne too! I have never met someone with my name before! That is super cool 🙂

    Coming from Mommy Moments x

    1. Hello, name twin! Gotta love having a unique name! I agree that often times we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. It’s so hard!

  18. I cannot tell you how much I needed this today. Some days I honestly feel like I’m drowning. My husband works full time, goes to school full time, leaving 100% of the house/lawn/children in my care. At least until he’s finished with his degree. My daughter plays in the cat food and with the cat water (she’s 15 months). My son watches way too much Netflix. I need about 4 cups of coffee to make it through the day. Thank you for the smile. I really needed it.

    1. Sarah,
      Your story really could be my own! My husband graduated with another degree in August and worked full time while going to school! My daughter, who is almost 5, but has ASD, gets into EVERYTHING and requires constant supervision! I hear ya, friend! Hang in there. Many prayers and encouragement coming your way!

  19. I love this!!!! My kids are grown – but most mothers DON’T FORGET these “magical” moments!!!! I applaud your candor – for sure!!!! Blessings 🙂 🙂

  20. Agggh! I know I rarely admit that sometimes I really let Baby Boy make a huge mess all over the house, so I can do other things. I also love on him to no end and wish he’d stay in my lap instead of playing at times!

    Motherhood, such a joy and blessing, while also being stressful and time consuming 🙂

  21. I am a Mom to three….a 5 year old son & boy/girl twins who are 3. This was a great post! It can be so easy to look at others & see how they “have it all together” but most likely they have the exact same feelings we do. I laughed when I saw what you wrote about the popcorn in the dogbowl. My kids always have some kind of snack food on the floor & in the cushions or last night how my twins both took their shoes off at a gym & were running around barefoot as I was secretly cringing inside but they were having fun! I have a few friends that no matter how many toys, unfolded clothes are on the couch, that I know it does not bother them.

    1. Oh I understand! We as moms have to turn a blind eye sometimes as to not make ourselves crazy!

  22. “…embrace the messiness of motherhood, and just be ourselves.” I love this sentiment you mention and it’s so true. Perfection is an on-going battle for motherhood, and I agree with you: it stops now. Motherhood is anything but perfect, so striving for it is unneccessary. Instead, we should do what you suggest: bask in the glory of its chaos, its mess, and just learn to love it one day at a time. Thanks for such an inspiring post 🙂

    1. I am so passionate about being transparent with our struggles and reality! It helps no one to hide behind smoke and mirrors!

  23. I think honesty is necessary too. I think a lot of people suffer alone because of Facebook’s picture perfect view of their lives. I have found it so freeing to tell truthful toxic family relationships where people are actually getting some help.

    Stopping by from Mommy Monday Blog Hope. Have a great week.

    1. Yes, April! If we could learn to be honest with each other, and share our weakness, there is strength in vulnerability!

  24. Love this post! Thank you for sharing at Mommy Moments last week! You were the top viewed link and will be featured in the link up tomorrow 🙂

  25. I buy only colored socks because white socks will never be white again.

    My kids learned the hard way NEVER drink from a sippy cup that you find under the bed.

    We went to a meeting at my oldest son’s school in our PJs because we completely forgot until they called.

    An YES to everything on your list.

    1. I LOVE the idea of colored socks! Great reminder to toss my dingy white ones and I LOVE that you went to school in your PJs!!!! You and I would be great friends!

  26. If all moms were truthful there would be no standards!

  27. Haha, yes! I’m sure I can admit to all of these and more. 🙂 I love that you are keepin’ it real here, Sarah Ann.
    Jen 🙂

  28. Confession I use pool time as an excuse to not give a bath.

    1. Hahaha! I LOVE it and SO appreciate the honesty! I can so relate!

  29. Loved this post! My kids LOVE playdoh…big mess but worth it! Cracked me up reading this!

    1. We know all about the playdoh mess at our house! Sometimes it’s whatever works, right?

  30. Hahahaa Sarah Ann! This is too funny! I so remember those days! Our kids are now 25, 23 and 19. As a pastor’s wife, I tried my best to hold myself to a standard. Back then as a young mother, I wanted so bad to make sure my family was -well, at least looked- perfect. HA, what a joke! I soon found out THAT was more work than raising kids, lol! After my epiphany, I soon realized that I should just go with the flow and do what’s best for us, even if everyone saw all the flaws! Well, as it turns out…all three turned out just fine(actually great) and they all work with my husband and me full time in ministry! And to answer your question…I use to strap our youngest down in his car seat in front of the t.v., so I could actually get something done! Btw…dropping by from Christian Women Bloggers Unite!

    1. I LOVE that they all turned out well and even more about your creative use for a car seat. Sometimes it truly is about survival!

  31. SO honest! SO true! Love this list and can totally relate to it. Sharing this with on my FB page. Blessings!

    1. Thank you for sharing! Most women can identify to a few of these!

  32. Great post and love the pics! Yes raising kids is lots of messes… hopefully lots of laughs, and lots of fun too! You captured that!

  33. I really relate and I just have one now teen. I was a stepmom too but my stepkids are all grown up now. I have been there and done most of those things. Now, it is not so bad, but my daughter’s room is a mess and I am going to relax and get over it. 🙂

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