The Horizontal Dance: Embracing God’s Design for Sex

Be aware, friend. I’ve been reading about sex lately.  “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.”  “Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely.”  “My heart began to pound for him.”

Talk about romance!

No, it’s not 50 Shades, these are excerpts of the Bible that communicate God’s design for sex and how He created this ultimate expression of love.

What is God’s design for sex?

Open the Bible right down the middle and you’ll find Song of Songs (also called Song of Solomon).  These excerpts from the Song of Songs invite us to see the sweetness of intimacy in marriage.

These passages remind us that sex in marriage is:

• Designed by God
• Focused on unity between husband, wife, and God
• Created for pleasure, intimacy, and procreation
• An exclusive and sacred bond between two souls (Hebrews 13:4)
• Should be celebrated in a marriage and kept pure (1 Corinthians 7:1-3)

It’s time to get open about sex

Let’s stop blushing and whispering about sex like it’s a dirty, shameful secret. Instead, let’s take notes from this moving story of courtship, beauty, wedding, and love.

As a starting point, read this intimate book of the Bible with your spouse.  Giggle over how her teeth are “like a flock of sheep,” blush as he wants to “take hold of” her “breasts like clusters of fruit.”  Celebrate that sex in marriage is a good thing, and discuss how you’re doing in this area of your relationship.

While I know that you’re juggling life, kids, and responsibilities, it’s crucial to evaluate your marriage for where you are now.

To make this conversation simple (and a little less awkward), let the Core Conversations for Your Marriage printables lead the way.

If you need some help in the intimacy department…

What has crept in and distracted you from embracing God’s design for sex?  Ask yourself (and your spouse) why the act of love has changed.

Has life gotten in the way of your intimacy?

Do you, as a wife, not feel loved, desired, or appreciated?

Does your husband feel not respected or that you support him?

When having an open conversation about intimacy, it’s important not to point fingers or assign blame.  Instead, honestly evaluate your own self in this situation.

Also, remember that no one is perfect.  That wall between you two was not built by your spouse alone.  Then, focus on asking God to help you both conform to His image and to be renewed.  Once you allow Him to invade your heart, mind, and soul, God will refine you and help you become a better wife. Over time, you’ll become a wife who can freely show love in the most special way.

Be vigilant

God wants your sex life to be fulfilling and satisfying, not dreaded or bothersome.  He is able to be your marriage counselor.  Through prayer and godly wisdom, things can get better in this aspect of your relationship.  You can be like newlyweds again with some effort.

May the Song of Solomon be your starting point for restoration, but if you need further help in this area, these resources will help you rekindle your intimacy.

Resources to improve your intimacy

The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight: Help for Women Who Want to Feel More In the Mood31 Days to Great Sex

“…for love is as strong as death…many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.”

How do you stay intimately connected to your spouse?

This post was shared by Debbie of Momsanity, where she writes faith-filled encouragement for health, exercise and nutrition/p>